I Know My Love Language… Now What??

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So, like many of you, I have taken the test and now I know what love language seems dominant in my psyche. Gifts is my primary love language. Now what? Am I supposed to advertise that I like gifts to my friends? Then invite them to cater to my love language if they still want to be my friends? Awkward.

The survey to me seemed a lot more than a discovery for myself to broadcast to others. What it did tell me was my lack of fluency in the other areas of love. What is it about touching that I didn’t like more than gifts? Why don’t I like to serve others as much as I like getting and giving gifts? Why do I think it bothersome, at times, to sit with another person and allow them to drone on with their stories? Serving someone… that is out of the question. Gifts is all about me. Just give me a gift and I will be happily on my way.

As I pondered my pinpoint of love languages, what had I really discovered? It seems like I had discovered a trait of childhood that had transferred successfully to my adulthood. I WANT gifts. Or was it that I wanted things to be about me, as it was when I was a child? No, it couldn’t be that… I am more mature than that thought. Hmmm… then I realized that gifts as a primary language has two aspects… the giving and the receiving. Do I like to give more than receive? Or is it the opposite way around? Yeah, I like to receive. Who doesn’t?

Sometimes the gift for me has been knowledge. I was dieting a few years ago when I realized how to give myself a gift every day. The discovery was astounding to me, yet so simple. I found out that if I weighed myself every day before I used the restroom facilities and also AFTER that I would lose at least a pound a day! I also discovered that the gift was sustainable in that I could have the same phenomenon happen every single day, regardless of what I ate. It was a gift from heaven! I lost weight EVERY day! I called it the love diet, since I was giving a gift of love to myself.

Seriously, I have found the theory of the languages of love fairly sound. Sometimes the applications of it make me laugh. I have also discovered for myself that I can indeed be fluent in all the love languages. Practicing each day has been the key. Selfishness really doesn’t have any part in love. Love is what is given away or received. There isn’t anything selfish about giving. There isn’t anything selfish about graciously receiving. Retaining and consuming and expecting love by waiting or soliciting it is self serving. Love is not that way. It is mutually uplifting. Use the discovery of your primary love language to benefit your neighbors and friends and watch it grow!

Paul Zolman

Paul Zolman

Download the 101 Ways To Love Ebook!

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