What is love, really??

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The word love has many connotations in this day and age.  Unfortunately, most thoughts of it lead to sex.  There are many other options.  But in my experience, the very best sex is preceded by acts of kindness.  It is these acts of kindness that truly constitute what love is all about.  Sex may be one result of many but is not necessarily a by-product of the acts of kindness we will discuss here.

Who is it that sets the standard or makes the rules about love?  Who decides what love is and what is not?  Where are the lines?  Maybe it would be easier to ask the opposite question of who decides if there is abuse or not?  Ultimately, in my opinion, it is how the recipient feels. 

Profound impact of someone caring, expressing nice thoughts, a thoughtful note, an act of service, a treasured gift, or a soft touch are all appropriate ways to love.  These sincere acts of kindness and caring transmit good feelings to the other person and the giver should also feel this inner satisfaction.  It’s not the cost of the gift or act but the sincerity of the giver.  Be sincere.

Sometimes it is just a phone call or a text message.  Words can and do make a difference. Sometimes it might be a pat on the arm or a kind hug.  Creating a fun handshake or greeting is another way to customize and brand your love for another.  Can you see in your mind how the football players congratulate one another on great plays or a touchdown?    Doing something nice for someone can make their day.  Mow a lawn.  Read a book or write a letter for an elderly person.  Leave a secret gift.  Wash your neighbor’s car.  Relieving pain or sometimes just listening is enough.  Sit with someone and hear them out.  Spend time with them.  The key to knowing what love is, is to know how it is received.  If you can detect what that person might need or want in that time of need, you will most likely do the deed that will help you succeed.

Are you detecting that love is not a solo flight?  It is DOING for others.  It involves other people.  Can you remember any time in your life that you have spent time with, served another, gave a random person a hug, gave an anonymous gift or just complimented someone?  How did you feel afterwards?  That feeling is only half of the love.  The other half is how they felt about what you gave.  However we only have control over what we give.  Give generously!

Choose without judgment those whom you will love.  It is not for the reciprocal actions.  It is not because of who they are.  It is because you are a loving person.  Giving love away is because of who you are.  Remember the quote:

“Love in the heart wasn’t put there to stay; love isn’t love ‘til it’s given away.”

Paul Zolman

Paul Zolman

Download the 101 Ways To Love Ebook!

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